Today I was having a really great day and because I had such a good time, I wanna share some of it first :)
I was working day and night one week straight since last sunday and today was my day off, since I had a long night shift yesterday (well sort of more today, cause I came home from work on early sunday morning) and even though it was pretty cold outside, it was super-sunny :)
And I LOVE the sun,so that definitely made a good start to "my day off"!
I ate brakfast kinda late and I really enjoyed it.
Its my favorite meal in the day! Especially when youve got some time, cause your not rushing to work.Everything smells so nice! Think freshly brewed coffee, warm breakfast rolls and
(I know its sooo bad, but I just cant quit) the first cigarette in the morning!
Soooo good!
Anyways, since I had a whole day to spend like I wanted to, I spend it with my mom.
Its such a great gift and such a rare kinda luxury thing to spend time with her,
(a WHOLE day! WOOOT!WOOT!) because I barely ever see her even though shes living with me.
Our schedules definitely collide too much and I sometimes really miss her,leaving the house for work, when she comes home and coming back when shes asleep.
I'm definitely a women and not a little girl anymore,
but even though I have to be tough at work, being a manageress, I wont be tough at home.
I feel weak and small, whenever I take off my uniform and in those moments Im so thankful that god gave me such a great mom, whos more like a best friend: Always understanding, caring and supporting me.
She just lives WITH me , its not like Id be living at my parents house or so.
(she moved in with me at my place)
We share, we care for each other and Ive gotten so used to our little community, that I miss her, when Im not seing her.
I dont mean like when shes getting groceries or goes to the corner store for an hour or so, I mean really missing her. Especially when I only get to see her once a day for an hour or so.
On those days I feel so lonely and sad like were just living aside from each other.
Not with each other anymore. Even though thats BS. (sorry)
She goes to work,I come home,she comes home, I go to work.
You know what I mean?!
I mean missing someone even though they are living with you or even sitting right next to you?!
Its so strange and I know it sounds kinda silly or definitely not grown up,
but I love my mum.
I dont know why I got to attached to her affection lately, but I realised that I NEED her.
I need the lovely looks she gives me, the hugs and her taking care that I dont "forget" to eat.
I am actually not ashamed of that. Of loving to spend time with my mum and needing her, but sometimes I think that I need to loosen our relationship.
I feel guilty for being 20 years old, grown up, working in a high position and still missing my mum like a little kiddy.
Is that weird? I mean is it really unnormal to miss the people we love, or is it creepy to miss someone even though theyre not far away from you?!
How do you feel about that?
xoxo,
Mary
I definitely know how you feel,Mary.
ReplyDeleteI don't think missing your mom is something you need to be ashamed of. It only shows that you care about her; that you love her. Although,it is surely important to be able to live your "own" life.
Personally,I always tend to take over the role of my mother,meaning I feel responsible for taking care of my mom and protecting her from all those "bad" things in the world. I could never ever do something that would make her unhappy or anything,you know? It's like everything I do,I do for her. And that's just not right.
So yeah... I can relate to this post a lot & agree on your thoughts,but I also know it is hard to realize loosening a reationship,especially a relationship like THAT.
hi kat, i answered you to this comment and it was such a long answer, bt my blg seems have to deleted it when my internet collapsed, ill write it again sonn :-*
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