PUH!
Finally she made it.
My beloved granma died last Friday.
the funeral was yesterday.
She would have turned 88 in December and she deserved to finally find peace in heaven and be realeased from her body and life here,on earth.
She has been (age) demented since 11 years now, which has turned her into a complete different person:
Someone she never was nor wanted to be.
She has been suffering with that for over a decade by now AND noone could help her with that. Because all we (my mom,granpa and I) were able to do was care, not cure.
I started taking care of her, when I hit the age of 8 and noone, whos never done such thing can imagine what it means to swipe someone elses bum, wash them, brush their teeth, cook and feed them and sit next to them in bed when theyre exhausted from getting undressed.
BUT Im not whining here.
Because I could not imagine acting any other way.
I loved my granma and I still do
(why I am not too sad about her death, I know god needed to release her and she is better now.)
She has been one of the prettiest Ive ever known and
She taught me to be how I am now:
To take care of people and be friendly no matter how they act to you.
To trust in god and that he will fix it for you.
To work hard and never question
To laugh in every situation and turn it into something good.
And..
...to play the piano
...sing
walk in heels,
braid my hair,
plant flowers and fruit ,
but mostly how to always stay a lady doing all that.
Danke guter Gott im Himmel, dass du sie zu dir genommen hast.
Mary,I am so sorry for your loss,even though at the same time,I am relieved your grandma is finally free.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how it must feel like when one of the most important persons in your life suffers from age dementia and possibly doesn't even recognize you anymore; how it hurts yourself to see her struggling each and every day and know what kind of pain she's in while you can do nothing but stay by her side and give her the feeling to not be alone on this planet.
When I worked at the hospital a few months ago,I've taken care of several people who weren't able to eat,get dressed,or wash themselves without help; I've seen in their eyes how ashamed they were,how hard it was to accept their own weakness,but I've also seen how thankful they were for my help and that was truly wonderful.
Without a doubt,there's a difference between taking care of a "stranger" and someone you really care about like a family member,but as a future nurse,I know I will have to deal with death more often than I wish for. Still,we always have to remember that death doesn't mean the end after all,and moreover,it is often the final relief of a person who's been suffering for far too long already.
I believe your grandma was a wonderful person,and despite her dementia,somwehere inside of her heart,she knew it was you who's been there for her all those years. Right now,she is watching over you,and I am quite sure is very,very proud of the youung,strong and independant lady you've become.
Thank you so much for all yor encouraging words, kat!
ReplyDeleteI wanna write a much longer response to your comment, because there is so much i wanna reply to your great answer, but i barely have time right now between two shifts and i need to figure out how to exactly express what im planning on saying, if you know what i mean?!
cause i hate to just write quick and without giving it much thought, i always feel like i dont honour the attention someone spent on me then...
But thank you is basicly the most important message in this comment :)